Opinions & Aholes

Soccer keeps it real.

I love technology and I love TV and I love live sports. Which is why I can’t believe I am about the type this next sentence, really.

I am happy that FIFA is not evolving with technology during the game. And I love that too.

Off the field, use technology to advance away. Better equipment, better training, better players, better fans.

I digress, back to the technology thing. First, it was refusing to use goal-line technology. You know, a microchip in the ball that would signal to the ref if a goal is scored.

Now, and even more pleasing, is the strong stance against instant replays. “It’s a game played by human beings, a game with a human face,” WFA secretary general David Collins said.

“Other sports regularly change the laws of the game to react to the new technology. … We don’t do it and this makes the fascination and the popularity of football.”

I’ve written about what soccer has taught me about life previously. One of the main strengths of soccer is players play and coaches prepare you for a game. There are no timeouts, coaches can’t stop and reset the pace of a game, and shit happens. It comes down to preparation and teamwork. My high school coach gave this advice to his players: “It doesn’t matter if you are one step ahead if you aren’t thinking 3 steps ahead.”

Handballs happen- sometimes intentional and sometimes not. Goalies move before a penalty kick. You take a few extra yards on free kicks and throw-ins. Elbows are thrown, and sometimes hair is pulled. And yes, slide tackles hurt. It is all part of the game. A game that is played for 90 minutes in the sun, rain, wind and snow. All you need are a pair of shin guards and cleats and it’s game time.

My loyalty is with the women’s national team and I am certainly not a fan of the French national team, but the only controversy in the Henry handball over Ireland is that it happened at the end of the game. If you have the time, watch the game second-by-second and report back to me. I will bet you Ireland wasn’t innocent throughout the game. I beat they took a few cheap shots. I’ll bet the ref let the play go on. And more importantly, I will bet they would do a few things differently next time.

Every team has benefited by a missed call.

Don’t get mad at the handball, get mad that the ball made it past your defense with a minute left. Get mad that you didn’t score. Get mad that it came to that. And, for the love of God, don’t beg to be an extra team at World Cup. It is embarrassing. Become stronger players, work harder and score more goals.

Don’t jump on the Ireland bandwagon or applaud Elizabeth Lambert being expelled from her team. I don’t advocate cheating and I don’t advocate playing to hurt the other player – even when some people deserve it. It is not cheating if/when you get away with something that falls outside the rules while on the soccer field. And look, I intentionally made it through this entire post without saying, “if it ain’t broken…” Because it is broken and always has been. Flaws make things beautiful. It is part of the game. The better team will win 8 out of 10 times, the dirty player will get theirs, refs will make mistakes, players will get away with breaking the rules and players will get hurt. And that my friends, is the beauty of soccer.

So, US soccer fans… sit back, enjoy that soccer is making it to ESPN, enjoy that people know the names of players, join the debate and keep watching.

“Let it be as it is and let’s leave (soccer) with errors,” Blatter said. “The television companies will have the right to say (the referee) was right or wrong, but still the referee makes the decision — a man, not a machine.” Amen to that.

taylor swift does vanessa williams...

confession time: i’m erin vogel and i have the sense of humor of a 12-year old boy and the music taste of a 15-year old girl. don’t judge.

based on the above fact about music… i listen to taylor swift, and i did before kanye made it cool to do so. because I also like to look too deeply into everything, i tend to pay attention to the lyrics.

lucky for me, it does not require too many brain cells to figure out the deep meaning behind taylor swift lyrics. so as I listened to her song “you belong to me” i couldn’t help think about an old song that has the same premise.

The old song… was #1 on the charts in 1992. the singer, a former miss america- one Ms Vanessa Williams.

If you can get past the fact that i know this… then the next question is: why do I care? well the same reason you should care; everything old is new again. Like it or not… any ‘new’ idea you have has probably lived in some way, shape or form before. I just happen to be using taylor swift to prove this.

Lyrics from Taylor Swift: Oh, I remember You driving to my house In the middle of the night I’m the one who makes you laugh When you know you’re about to cry And I know your favorite songs And you tell me about your dreams Think I know where you belong Think I know it’s with me

Can’t you see That I’m the one Who understands Been here all along So why can’t you see? You belong with me.

Lyrics from Vanessa Williams: all of the nights you came to me when some silly girl had set you free you wondered how you’d make it through I wondered what was wrong with you ‘cause how could you give your love to someone else and share your dreams with me sometimes the very thing you’re looking for is the one thing you can’t see

Yes, yes… if you go on to listen to the full songs - Ms. Swift does not end up with the guy while Ms. Williams does indeed end ‘standing face to face’ - it doesn’t change that… everything old is new again. and stealing a premise or an idea and making it better isn’t a bad thing. just put a new spin on it and target it to new people.

I am sure there are very few of me out there that 1) know, 2) like 3) remember the lyrics to both of the above songs and 4) draw the comparison. that is probably true with any idea you are mulling over right now. an idea for a client, an idea to get rich, and idea to make something better, or just a fleeting idea. and if you do happen to come across someone who remembers the original, just make sure yours is better. or at minimum, not worse.

now sit back, turn up your speakers and enjoy the story of boy doesn’t know what he has 17 years apart.

99 is the new 140...

Over the last few months two things have happened to me often:

1. I have had a few clients ask what the best practice is for composing tweets
2. I have had clients and/or other agencies submit pre-populated twitter and facebook copy to be integrated into share features on websites.

One thing is for sure… everyone knows and loves the number 140. I don’t. I like things that make sense and solve problems. 140 character tweets often don’t think everything through. Many folks on twitter practice and love the art of retweeting and @ing. They usually fall into one of the following buckets:

1. Brands. They want you to retweet them, often asking to be retweeted
2. Self-promoters. They want to be retweeted. often asking for it.
3. Ass-Kissers/I-know-important-people-ers. The retweeters that like to retweet anything (and i mean anything, even if it is not funny or useful) from a few core people. They like to brag, thank and give off the perception they are BFFs with people they think will give them street cred.
4. Firsts. The people who retweet articles and things overheard first (ironically, second as they are not original- but first to their friends)
5. Mockers/I’m Righters. They like to tweet opinions and then add @_____ to prove their point or call someone/some brand out for something.

So, a new formula exists that solves many of the aboves’ problems…

If your main twitter objective if to be retweeted. Or if you notice that you are the object of someone’s affection and are often rewtweeted… don’t fill the whole 140 characters. Use this formula.

The URL shortener gets longer with custom endings and as they get more popular (bit.ly is running out of 4 character URLs and is, at times, using 6 characters).

subtract even more if you want to live beyond generation 1 retweets. if you want to be part of the “RT @_____ RT @_____” bloated tweets.

With even fewer characters to work with it is important that you get to the point, be interesting and if you are going to toss grammar and punctuation out the window make sure it makes sense- i don’t want to use my ovaltine decoder ring to figure out your deep thoughts. and if you fall into bucket 3, we know who you are. you aren’t fooling anyone.

any other thoughts?

Moosejaw coats– so warm you won't need pants?

I would expect this from American Apparel or even a teen focused brands like A&F or Forever 21… but what I don’t understand is why the girl in the Moosejaw ad for winter coats is pantsless??? is she on her way to the hot tub outside the ski lodge?

4 db's walk into a bar...

… one celebrates a birthday. John Mayer celebrated his 32nd birthday with Jeremy Piven, Seth Meyers and Stephen Dorff #celebritygossipthatmakesmelaugh

The battle of YOU: Bissell: 1, Yahoo!: 0.

A lot has been written about the new Yahoo! campaign. The punch line to the conversations I have had and the posts I have read: Yahoo! missed the mark. This isn’t surprising in hindsight. Especially if you strip it down to the basics.

We are in the age of people, not consumers. Unique people. Diverse people. People who want things they want, personalize what they want, share things they want, relate to things that they like. The same people who beg to be spoken to, not at. Which is why I don’t understand how the people at Yahoo!, (you know the ones with all that data on consumer trends, a buzz index, search trends- the ones who should have predicted this very outcome) let this campaign see the light of day. They broke a simple rule: Don’t Assume. Or that other rule- the one about not being everything to everyone.

Under no circumstance should a brand message overtly tell a target/consumer/user (whatever marketing word you use in your brief) you are talking to them and try to prove it with a barrage of photo-shopped, beautiful, mulit-race, multi-aged, happy-as-a-pig-in-shit, dancing people and that they should see themselves in there. Don’t do it. Don’t assume they will find someone to connect with or want to connect with. Don’t assume they have aspirations to be any of those people in any of those scenarios. Apparently, that did not come out in the focus groups for Yahoo.

But, what if you have a product or a service that you do want people to imagine themselves using? One that solves a specific, personalized need. One that has a large target base not defined by one demographic profile. ‘You’ should not be feared. ‘You’ is a word that can be used correctly. It can be used in a way a consumer can relate to. An unlikely good example coming from this vacuum-hating, digital girl: the Bissell TV spot.

Bissell launched an ad asking “is your vacuum a good match for you?” You. There’s that word again. But it is used differently. Instead of showing messy house, a frazzled mom, a busy young-single in a suit, and hoping I can connect with that moment, Bissell personified the vacuum to showcase the their product benefits and their competitors short-comings.

‘You’ don’t want a girlie one that won’t touch the pet hair. I don’t see myself in that moment, but I know I hate it when my vacuum doesn’t get everything.

‘You’ don’t want the big tough, heavy one that can’t maneuver easily. Bissell, you are right. Heavy vacuums are not for me. They highlight different features that are relatable, features that solve an immediate need. Bissell declares, “at Bissell, we design our vacuums with you in mind.” And they created a spot that makes me believe that. And, it’s a vacuum, people. A vacuum.

You might say, there is no comparison. Apples to oranges. You may have a case, but play along with me for a second. Read the following statements and guess who I am describing: Yahoo or Bissell:

1. I can solve a need

2. I can simplify something that is frustrating

3. I use consumer insights to design products and features

4. I spend a lot of money to develop new ways to solve new issues

5. A variety of people, in all shapes, sizes, counties and income levels use me. And use me often.

6. I am in a very competitive category

7. I need to speak directly to people, without alienating anyone

Give up? Both. All of those statements and more can describe both brands. So, I ask you. How did Yahoo miss the mark by such a huge margin, while a vacuum nailed it? Why did Yahoo shy away from focusing on solutions, simplifying benefits? or at the very least tell me why I should care. Even if I see myself in those ads, I still don’t know why Yahoo is the right place for me to go. Why didn’t Yahoo tell me or show me Yahoo? Please help me understand, because this one baffles me.

Watch both spots and tell me if you agree, disagree or could care less.

T.G.I.... F, another re-do.

Well, I guess we can chalk it up to real time optimization. TGIF has now overcome two major consumer backlashes/frustrations with their current Free Burger, Friend Woody campaign.

Instead of hearing over and over on next year’s conference circuit about the hard lessons learned from a social campaign gone awry, we will instead praise TGIF for on-the-fly listening and reacting. Ultimately, salvaging the campaign. [prediction: this will be a trend we hear a lot about]

First, was the “first 500,000 fans” get a burger. The mistake did not come because fan 500,001 was pissed. Woody gave plenty of notice that it was the first 500,000. The backlash came because of two things:

1. It was promoted with media that could not be pulled down once the 500,000 was complete (read: tv and print)

2. Once fan 500,001 and beyond made it to the site, there was no indication that they were too late. TGIF collected their email, got the fan and then told the “too bad, so sad. better luck next time.” ‘Fans’ felt tricked. They held up their end of the bargain and Woody did not.

Solution: Open it up to 1MM people- immediately. And over-communicate as we get closer and closer to 1MM.

The current cluster fuck they are dealing with: online coupon redemption and security. TGIF used CouponsInc. to serve and track the coupon. From a brand side, it’s great. It gets security (can’t over print it), it gets tracking, and they don’t have to mail out 1MM coupons. But wait… consumers get mad when you force them to fill out a form for something free, they are for sure going to get pissed off when you make them download an applet. Which is what you have to do as a consumer.

When you run online couponing one can usually plan and predict a few things:

1. a percentage will give up and not print, not a huge loss

2. another chunk will call in and you will have to spend the extra $2 to mail them a coupon on secure paper

3. the final chunk will do it. YIppy! everyone is happy or at least not pissed off.

Enter facebook. Instead of complaining to your poor poor customer service operators, they bitch, moan and voice their frustration online for all to see. and they don’t stop at this one promotion - they start talks of trust issues, never eating there again… uh oh.

that is why I was not surprised when I received an email that was entitled: Your burger coupon is right inside. No, really.

The header: OUR COUPONS SHOULDN’T BE ROCKET SCIENCE. (I guess this is not going to be the awesome case study CouponsInc. was hoping for)

“I hear there are a few unhappy fans out there, and I’m not gonna stand for it! So I talked T.G.I. FRiDAY’S® into making their coupons easier to print. Now you don’t have to download anything. If you haven’t already printed your burger coupon… Print this! But show your coupon to your server BEFORE you order. That way they know Woody sent ya!

P.S. I couldn’t talk them into removing the serial code. So don’t bother forwarding this onto everyone you know, as this coupon can only be used once.”

WIN! In the new age of real time customer satisfaction, it is essential for a brand to solve your issue as close to the “FRUSTRATION PEAK (TM)” as possible. If you wait too long, it’s over. If you do it quickly enough you have a good chance that the frustrated throw you a bone and at least post something that says you tried to make it right.

Don’t worry TGIF, it is almost over- and you will get a good case study out of this. and I will see you talking about it on multiple panels next year.

But someone will probably be talking about how the coupon was only good for 4 days. Eh, you can’t win ‘em all.

Does it help or hurt [and CNN... turn on your commenting]

First: CNN… why must you pick and choose what stories readers can comment on. it seems too easy to turn off the commenting on stories that may get a mix of comments. tsk tsk… you don’t get to pick and choose… Facebook Connect one day, no comments another…

Because you won’t let me comment, i will here.

http://tr.im/AaS8 [read the story for the actual words, I am going to summarize it as I understand it]

Roman Polanski has sex with a 13 year old… admits it (but she looked older, so it is ok)… flees the country… makes some movies… we reward him with what some believe is an award that validates a movie maker’s career… he finally leaves his protected land to get his ass kissed by the foreign film industry… he gets arrested, as he should… finally, an industry backs him and wants him freed.

First… I am not sure I would want Woody Allen signing a petition and being the one to ask for my release for humping an under-aged girl. but that is just me. it’s like OJ coming to the defense of a murderer…

Secondly… Really?  why is he going to be able to escape justice. Because it was the 70s? Because the victim wants it to go away? Well if he didn’t escape decades ago, he would have served his time and she wouldn’t still have to relive it over and over again.

Shame on you film industry. “It seems inadmissible to them that an international cultural event, paying homage to one of the greatest contemporary filmmakers, is used by the police to apprehend him,” So, just because you are paying homage to a sex offender who arguably had success while he should have been in jail, he should be excused?

strip out the names and just read the facts… i don’t think this would be a story, nor do i think there would be a petition asking for his freedom. the film industry and 138 names on the petition… i hope you don’t have any children (especially 13 year old daughters), and if you do, shame on you times 100. and really, the pianist wasn’t that good. and you, 138 names on the petition and mr. polanski are now added to my ahole list.

An open question to Meredith Corporation (and others)...

I am singling out one company here, but consider it a universal question…

In my past life, one of the most frustrating things about placing online media was deciding if your brand should be placed on a great property even if they site did something anti-consumer/anti-user experience.

Take bhg.com / lhj.com both great sites. Good content, loyal audience, etc. However, at least 3 times per visit you are bombarded with subscribe now pop-ups or interstitials.  It is akin to the annoying cards that fall out of magazines that 90% of people hate.

Every time I asked why? I was told, it was a business department decision and they perform well “believe it or not”. I asked, at what cost- to no answer.

With articles about listening, social sites, consumer control…

My question to you, and others like you: In the age of social marketing, if users had the ability to easily and immediately comment on your tactics, would you still do it?

For example, on a facebook fan page, would you start every post with subscription requests? change your status 10 times a day with subscription offers? tweet 50 times a day about subscriptions?

The follow-up question would be - who should be able to decide what equals a good user experience and can veto tactics that aren’t?  I vote nay to the guy who reuses the annoying magazine card tactic…  thoughts?